I want to write.
Badly. No, not badly. Thoroughly. With desire.
Because there are words in my head and I need to get them out.
This isn’t some gentle calling or
a simple passion.
This is desperate and needy and
I MUST I MUST I MUST.
I cannot breathe
I cannot think
And somewhere in my mind a line from a scene from the TV pops up and tells me, “isn’t this love?”
When you see them and they’re the only air you breathe
And you cannot think whether you’re with or without them
And when they’re close it is ecstasy and when they are apart it is grief in measures you never knew your heart could contain.
Like the oceans, nay, the universe
is tiny instead of vast.
Because everything is within.
We’re made of stardust.
Literal stardust.
The atoms in our body would not exist if not for the stars flaring out and dying and flinging themselves out into the dark saying, “here, this was me, and now i’m gone, but you can use this. A gift.”
“And you are as precious and complex and as great and as simple.”
“We are stars. We are the universe. We are so different, and yet we are one.”
And it doesn’t matter that I
I am a small, weak girl.
Because I am also tall.
What’s in me once made giants. Too large to comprehend.
I am also strong. And it’s a paradox because my strength comes from softness and ease.
And I am a girl in all the ways that a girl is powerful.
I love you.
These words that take my breath away
These thoughts that swirl around my head
The way i am taken and carried and shifted and returned.
Standing in the same place completely winded.
This is love
flowing round the universe
and i was just there
to be lifted by it.
💖
