Sunday, 15 December 2024, 5:33 pm, kaffe&toast, citylink.
It happened a few days ago, and I ended up going to Jarrod’s place, in tears and cold from sweat.
I didn’t know it was gastric, I thought it was just a random tummy ache caused by a lack of sleep, but when Jarrod noticed I was holding my stomach, he got his mom to take me to the doctor when the clinic opened (he had to be out coaching a client).
The doctor asked questions, pressed my tummy, ruled out appendicitis, ovary issues, food poisoning, and checked my breathing, before pronouncing it was gastric.
Jarrod half-jokingly welcomed me to the age when I’m no longer young, saying I already had a five-year discount.
So I’m sitting here in kaffee&toast, with a steamed kaya bun (no butter), a chee cheong fun (no-chili), and a milo, because my tummy made a weird squeeze and I’m terrified it’ll hurt worse.
(Right, time to take my meds.)
…
6:15 pm, coffee bean, esplanade.
Between my parents popping in and out of hospital and friends my age saying their body is going, I’m starting to think about my age for the first time.
It’s been 35 years.
And any illness or weirdness or tension or dis-ease comes from everything I’ve done (or didn’t do) in these 35 years on Earth.
My friends say their body is tense or aching or giving up? I’ll go to the gym.
My parents having issues with their organs and health? I’ll start drinking more water and adding good things to what I eat.
But gastric?
That’s 35 years of not listening to my body. Of not knowing when I’m full, or hungry, or eating when I should have, or stopping when I could.
And now I’ve got to re-introduce my own stomach to my brain, and create new habits with food.
It’s 35 years of my stomach wearing down its mucus lining because I didn’t eat. 35 years of my body going “what the heck do I do with this” when I ate too much. 35 years of “ah heck” when all I ate was fast food.
So now hi, stomach, meet brain. Hi brain, meet food.
We need to form a love triangle, thank you.
💖🌧️
Image of some kind of steamed bun Chinese dim sum thingy by Jessica Kwok from Pixabay. Because it’s pretty and it looks wrong somehow, and I have no clue if I’ll ever have another chance to have a picture like this on my blog.
Also, Jarrod’s been bringing me to eat lots of different stuff, and now dim sum is something I like and is part of the good-for-tongue-and-tummy food.
