It is 4:16 am on the first day of January, 2025, and I’m typing on my lovely rainbow-coloured keyboard to my new Google Pixel 9 (because I left my tablet and blue keyboard at Jarrod’s), because a post is floating in my head.
I went to bed a little before the new year celebrations, and woke up to fireworks right outside my window (Loop Quiet earplugs for the win, thank you for the suggestion Sayang), went back to sleep, and woke up to hives and a toilet break to cool my skin.
What’s the post keeping me awake at 4 am?
The intention for 2025.
I declare a year of intentional foolishness.
(That line is supposed to read “I declare a year of chasing/achieving/fulfilling/attaining goals/dreams”, but I know the way my brain works and I will immediately not do it, so “intentional foolishness“ it is.)
I am going to allow myself to look foolish, so long as it’s intentional.
What do I mean? Well, take this blog, for example. (And any of my TikTok posts.) ‘Tis foolish to be making content and posting it online. It’s cringe/embarrasing, it’s not going to make a difference, it’s cheap dopamine (because putting up announcements like this tricks the brain into thinking you’re doing something when it’s all just talk. [When it actually takes effort to wake up and write a post, and anyone who has ever tried to properly caption a tiktok video knows it’s the opposite of easy.]) But making a post like this helps me practise my writing. Helps me practise expressing. Helps me be more intentional, and self-aware, and sensitive, and that’s my main goal — so let me be foolish, because I’ve got an intention behind it.
(one sec, my hives are demanding attention. Thank divinity for aloe vera gel.)
This is probably the first time I’ve looked forward to the coming year
And Jarrod’s probably the reason why.
When I wrote Dear 2024 me, I was hopeful, in a way that was tired and quiet and almost afraid to hope.
Then 2024 turned out to be the year I joined dance class (I’m learning West Coast Swing! I’m dancing almost every week!), and met new people, and then Jarrod popped up out of the dark (literally, ‘cos Ziggyfeet turns the lights down, and metaphorically, because I was only just starting to add light to my life).
It’s the year I said goodbye to terrible relationships (both the people and the concept), and hello to my boyfriend — the best guy I’ve ever met.
It’s also the year I made a couple of real estate deals happen, and I got a ghostwriting client working on a book.
I didn’t do too badly. 🙂
And because Jarrod has been stable, accepting, encouraging, reassuring — he’s been keeping and fulfilling his promises and created a relationship I’ve learned to trust and relax into — I’m starting 2025 with joy and excitement and (for once) expectations.
So…
Dear 2025 me,
Like 2024, I hope you’re happy.
I hope that wherever you see yourself, at the end of the year, you’ve lived your life with openness and curiosity and kindness.
I hope you find love, not just at the tip of your fingers or in the light in his eyes or the dance of his lips on your skin, but also love for yourself that comes from within.
I hope you’ve chased some good dreams.
I hope you’ve done what you know you need to do, and quietly want to do, even if it terrifies you to be seen putting in the effort and without knowing whether it will work out or pay off.
I hope you listen to yourself more than you listen to others. And not just the fun side, listen to the council.
You are more than who you think you are, and who you say you are.
Go be intentionally foolish. Go be brave. Go be experimental.
And my love, go choose only one thing.
It’s not forever — it doesn’t have to be. But at each moment you can only choose to be or do one thing. And so choose what puts you in touch with yourself. Sometimes that means you need to grow, sometimes that means you need to rest. You’ll know when, if you listen.
And I love you.
Whatever happens, we made no mistakes. We made our road. We made our lessons. It’s not even a detour babygirl, it’s the road we chose to take. And everyone we’ve ever loved or hurt or met or gave up on was a part of the journey.
You’ve got someone good in your life right now. You’ve built something good. You’re doing something. And you’re loving yourself. Keep at these.
And maybe (I’m looking at my exact actions here) go get your sleep.
May 2025 me be… divinity-led, filled with love, and find life even more worth living.
Now go sleep.
We’ll finish this post when the sun is awake, in the same slice of sky. It’s 5:50 am.
💖🌧️
Image of a tulip and a pink heart-shaped macaroon by NoName_13 from Pixabay.
